Reality has been confusing

2022-04-08 16:49:42

I don't know where to begin. I've felt a fire in my head for days, and felt outside of my body and controlled by a higher power. Or is it a lower one.

Transitions in time. Game of my life. Confusing. Fusing and bonding together. Memories tossed into a garage sale, hoping somebody else takes the junk and makes it their dream.

My face is flushed crimson, body on fire


What is doing this to me but myself. Being not good enough for love, or sex. One and the same to the universe. How many times have I told myself I wasn't good enough. Only to be shown love with cosmic fire in my brain and blood.

Anger or lust. Jealousy or hate. All things once I called emotions now slur together into a big pot. The lowest lifeform is the highest technology. It knows something I do not.

I will struggle forwards in this strange long dream. Sometimes a nightmare it has been but I don't want to live my life in fear anymore. Even fear is a construct, a word to express a vast, infinite response to stimuli.

Infinite is a word people use but don't understand. There are a lot of words like this. I am scared of the infinate. I thought I would love it, but it is playing me and scares me more the closer I have become to infinity. My neck doesn't rotate enough to express it though.

Over and out.